Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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