literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
