i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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