If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I would fuck him just for his dog
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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