the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
