One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
