Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need to calm my uterus...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
