YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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