Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize