her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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