he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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