the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize