ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
