I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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