just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
