Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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