he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
