is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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