i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I didn't notice because vodka
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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