I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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