Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
