dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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