So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is Oprah even human
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
