Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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