Your favorite bartender is back from prision
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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