S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
