Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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