just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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