I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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