We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
