i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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