I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
