To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
