What a fucking waste of an outfit
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
