Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
