TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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