is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
