Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize