its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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