When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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