Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
