You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
