I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
