It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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