Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
