you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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