I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
