You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
