Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
