it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
