K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
