wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
