Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
worst night to have a conscience
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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