I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
