i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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