Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize