some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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