we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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