umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
