I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
