No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
