He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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