Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
