She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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