I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you still have your period?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
operation harelip BJ is a go
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
