i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize