9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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