I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
