3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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