Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
