yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize