Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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